"When it rains, it pours" is an apropos saying for my last two weeks. My boss has been on paternity leave, putting me in a great position to step up, make bigger decisions, and take on some more responsibility. The other side of that coin is an increased work load with some unexpected, big projects thrown in the mix. After the longer work days, I've been attending the last information sessions at graduate schools, studying for the GRE, fitting in book club, and trying to find time to cook healthy dinners and feel like I'm working to get back in shape. Alongside those factors is the biggest thing going on in my life - my mom has been in the ER three times in the last, well, two weeks. She has had some nagging health issues for years - 3 years to be exact - that have yet to be diagnosed.
I've been this ball of anxious, stressed out energy for these two weeks, trying desperately to shake the internet like an 8-ball until it gives me a diagnosis for my mom. I've called specialists and talked to her repeatedly and I think I have an idea of what's going on with her, but until we know for sure, it's hard to think about anything else.
Every time Zander and I talk recently, he barely gets to say a word. I inundate him with work and my mom's symptoms and my diagnoses, and he listens patiently. And when he gets a few words in, over and over, they have been, "What can we do?"
That "we" holds so much power. It's the promise of, "You're not alone. I'm by your side." It's a powerful word, those two little letters, and it has given me so much comfort.
By this weekend, I needed a break. So Zan and I picked a trail and headed out into Virginia where we could think about nothing except how beautiful the remaining fall colors are.
Before we left, he gave me a thoughtful card that made me well up, writing in it words of encouragement. Before I could even hug him, he handed me a wrapped package, a completely unexpected gift. He had gotten me the very camera I've been eying all year, plotting ways to afford it before we leave for Ecuador next month. He got it weeks ago and toyed with waiting until Christmas but wanted me to have time to learn a few things before our trip. Of course, I cried. And then we excitedly put it all together, charged the battery, and brought it with us into the woods.
It felt so good to get out of the city and into the brisk, bright daylight. For the first 2 miles of the trail, we didn't see a single other person. Zan and I don't talk much when we hike. When we first started dating, it used to stress me out - is this a bad thing? Do we have nothing to say to each other? Shouldn't we be getting to know each other? Now, I love that it's the way we are. We talk all the time. Hiking is our chance to just be together, listening to the sound of our breath, the wind, and the leaves crunching beneath our feet.
We hiked the 4-mile Buzzard Rock north trail in George Washington National Forest. For the first mile, we strolled through the woods like it was a lazy Saturday. We saw a large buck, and for an instant it was a beautiful sight - the buck in the midst of a blazing red, orange, and yellow forest, and then that moment came to a quick halt when Theo went chasing after him. He came right back, but the poor buck was probably scared.
I took a billion pictures, and like a grandma thought over and over again that maybe hiking in the fall is a dangerous sport - for all the leaves covering the loose rocks (my paranoia after spraining my ankle a few months ago coming out!). But the views were our reward, and in the distance the Blue Ridge Mountains peeked out, and the leaves shone in their late fall glory. We turned the 4 miles into 5 by hiking beyond our turnaround point, until we convinced ourselves there wasn't another great overlook.
By the time we got back to the car, I was famished and more tired than I expected. I devoured a sandwich, feeding Theo bites of bread and turkey, and scanned the pictures on my new camera, smiling from ear to ear.
It's true that when it rains it pours, but every rain storm ends, and the sun always, always comes out again. Sometimes that sunshine is in the form of a we and photographic memories.
if you go...
distance: 4-5 miles
difficulty: 1-2.5/5 (depending on how far you go)
views: 4
very dog friendly!
Those photos are gorgeous, but why not link to the full-size shots? Great post!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found a little respite from all that stress! I'm a little jealous that you guys get to hike so often. If (when) I actually make it out there you'll have to take me to one of your favorite trails!
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