am i happy?

I've been thinking about happiness lately. What makes me happy? In the past year, I've noticed that I have more leveled, even-keeled highs and lower lows. Before that, my highs were out of this world, astronomical, to the moon and back, and my lows were even-keeled, average, ordinary life. Here are the three times I've been my happiest.

Governor's Honors Program 

Growing up in suburban Georgia, I admittedly didn't have the best education in the world. But the one standout was the Governor's Honors Program. It's a six-week program that allows high schoolers to become de facto college students on the campus of Valdosta State University between their junior and senior years. The best part is that if you're accepted, you're there 100% on scholarship. For low-income students like me, it's a total game-changer.

I was nominated in Social Studies. For the first time in my life, I made friends instantly. I took classes on the psychology of serial killers, played a game re-enacting World War I, and studied how political campaigns have evolved over time. I almost didn't go that summer because I needed to serve tables and save my tips to buy a car to get me through senior year. My mom pushed me to attend. My current roommate, Matt, is a GHP friend, as is my running buddy and confidante Whitney.

Studying abroad in South Africa

The story of the first time I left the country and lived abroad is well documented on my "About" page. My best friend of many years "broke up" with me, and it left me more heartbroken than any romantic relationship. I drank the majority of a bottle of tequila and announced to my friends that I was moving to Africa. So I did. I studied in Stellenbosch, South Africa. I couldn't afford it - was working three jobs to stay in school. Somehow I got the scholarships and loans I needed and got into the program I needed to get required credits for graduation. It was my first time going somewhere completely alone. I came back spiritually and emotionally healed and physically healthier than I'd ever been.

Teaching English in Japan 

I didn't love my job (teaching English abroad is often like being a professional broken record), and I had the occasional breakdown. I battled with homesickness - like when I spent Christmas in Thailand. I got sick of Japanese food and the rigidity of the culture. But I traveled endlessly, made forever friends, and realized my passion for travel goes beyond vacations and wish lists - it's what I want to do with my life.

I almost didn't go to Japan. I was working at Ms. magazine in Los Angeles - a dream come true for me! My career was wide open - possibilities in magazines, writing, and publishing felt endless, and I thought I'd lose momentum if I moved abroad. Going is the best decision I've ever made.

So what??? 

I never noticed it before, but these three events fall exactly at big life transitions - high school, college, and post-college. Now I'm 27, and I feel like I'm at another big life transition. I want to choose whatever will recapture more of my joy and fervor for life - because I'm capable of so, so much of it. I'm happy, but I know the best version of myself, and I'm not living it right now. I don't know the answer yet, but I know that getting there, however frustrating the process might be, will be worth it, you know?

I'm happiest when I'm uncomfortable
I'm happiest when I get out of my comfort zone 
I'm happiest when I make deep, lasting friendships
I'm happiest traveling
I'm happiest when forced to rely on myself and show myself that I'm capable 

What makes you happiest? What brings you the most joy?

5 {travel} things!

(in rhodes, greece. i live for the chance to jump for joy.)

Mel passed the torch on to me. Here are five {travel} tidbits about me! 

• I was 21 the first time I stepped foot out of the country. It was my senior year in college, and I boarded a jet plane to study abroad in South Africa. Go big or go home.

• I've pooped my pants on two continents. I mean, what can I say? When you go big or go home, you also just go, a lot. (They're both epic  stories. One you've heard, and one involves skinny dipping, bandits in the night, and Cormac McCarthy - it's quite the tale/tail.)

• I'm really outgoing in my every day life and get a lot of my energy from being around other people. But secretly, I'm a closet-introvert who loves reading, writing on my own time, exploring remote places far away from the big cities, and who one day wants a house in the mountains or country near great hikes and beautiful vineyards.

• The first mountain I ever summited was Stellenbosch Mountain in South Africa (I don't count Stone Mountain in Georgia - no way, no how!). I hated outdoorsy things, especially climbing up large hilly things and things that generally involved sweating, and I don't even remember if we really made it to the top. But I do count it as my first foray into hiking. Here's how that first hike went:

• I studied karate in Japan....... with black-belt elementary schoolers. And a few incredible adults. My sensei went with me to be fitted for a gi (women's sizes were too small, men's were too large - I was so awkward there!). She surprised me with having my name inked onto my uniform in kanji - Chinese characters. Culturally, kanji names are treated with reverence and used only for Japanese-born. She translated my name, "Cynthia," as forest, poem, and Japan. It's one of my most treasured memories.

 

Now that I've shared my five things, I want the dirt on Jess, Noe, and Paige!